Ephemeral
by oOThyPoisonShroomOo
Summary: To me, you were like a tick in my hair, an itch I wanted to pour acid all over. Yet as I sit here, holding your hands as you breathed your last breathe, I realised all of that was a lie. RinxLen. Non-twincest.


A/N: Just a little something I came up with while listening to Love Distance Long Affair by DECO*27 8DD...enjoy~ ;3

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...**E** P **H** E **M** E** R** A **L**...

Forever is a big word.

Oh yes it is.

In this point in my life I should have known that by now. I should have kept avoiding you like a bug; because, technically, you are.

You were like the tick in my hair. An itch I wanted to pour acid all over.

That annoying look in your eyes when you look at me like you can read my every thought; the way you smile that stupid, idiotic smile of yours every morning right in front of my door, waiting for me; that irritatingly chirpy, dim-witted look you have on when you greet me good morning; the way you seem to materialize out of nowhere whenever I wanted some alone time, just to flirt, practically flaunting your "expression" of what you call your "eternal, undying love" to the whole class.

I want to erase it all.

Dammit, I really do.

You're such a fraud.

"Rin, promise me…"

"…"

"Promise you'll let go of me,"

_You idiot._

"Find someone better,"

_You liar._

"You'll be able to do that for me won't you?"

You smiled that stupid, idiotic billion-dollar smile of yours again. Unlike the usual however, it was weak; forced. I swallowed back the heaviness coming from my chest.

Because somehow, somewhere along them stupid smiles and dim-witted looks; I…actually grew _feelings_…for _you_.

And as I take in your weakened state, pale face and all, it…_bothers_ me.

And for my own sake, I try hard not to look back at the times we shared together. They were precious moments while they lasted; but for now I want to keep them in the deepest, darkest corners of my memories.

It's selfish, I know. But it was never worth it.

I got so much more for my life ahead of me. Something so short-lived does not worth so much.

And they deserve to be forgotten; along with every other forgotten promises.

So I nodded weakly.

And you smiled in satisfaction.

It was easier this way.

Yet as I sit here, holding your hands as you breathed your last breathe. As I watch the life drain away from your electric blue eyes, once full of life and warmth – the same eyes that comforted me through the tears I shed, the same eyes that saw through me, _really _looked at me; grow lifeless. As I watched that same smile once full of mirth – the same smile that took my breath away, _every time; _slowly fade. As I watched that same dim-witted look on your face – the same look that made me laugh through my times of misery, one that made me seem to forget everything; fade into nothing but an etched feature on a lifeless face.

I realised all of that was a lie.

Because I knew nothing was ever worth more than all of that.

Nothing.

"Len…?"

Nothing.

"–Len!"

Nothing.

"…Len don't leave me! Len!"

Because them dim-witted looks...

"–Get the defibrillator ready…!"

"–Len…!"

"Clear!"

That smile.

"–Len! You promised…!"

"–Clear!"

Those eyes.

"We're sorry, Miss Kagamine, we've done all we could do…"

They…meant _a lot_ to me.

But they're just _memories_ now. All of it.

And even if I shed endless tears to get them all back. Even if I give up the future ahead of me just to feel them again. Even if I give up forever just to see _you_ again. I know they would all be in vain.

"No, no, no–NO! Len!"

"He's gone, Rin. Len's gone,"

"…Shh, It's okay Rin…"

Because they're all gone.

"–Ow, Rin! Rin! Where are you going?!"

"Rin! Wait! Don't run!"

And I can never get them back.

"Come back! Rin!"

"Rin! Wait!"

Forever.

How ironic.

"…Dammit, Rin, don't run off like that!"

"It's okay, Rin, everything will be okay."

And it _hurts_…Damn, it hurts.

"Shh, it's okay, Rin…"

…Because I _love_ you.

"…Rin…?"

And unlike those other false promises of nonsense, those "memories" mattered to me more than anything; and knowing that they're all just memories now, it _kills_ me.

"…Rin, say something."

No, I don't want to let go. I don't want to find someone better.

But I promise to keep our memories forever…on _your_ behalf; because it was _your_ forever. And for me, it was my short-lived fantasy…a dream.

_Two flaxen haired youth lay on the boundless plains of dandelions under the cloudless skies of spring, just the two of them in their own little world, everything else around them forgotten. The young girl, seemingly uneasy, turned to face the young man beside her. His face was serene and his eyes, though closed, held mirth as if containing an inside joke._

And them dim-witted looks…

_"…Hey, Len?"_

_She saw a smile tug at the corners of his lips. His eyes fluttering open._

That quirky smile…

_"…hm~?" he turned to face her. His eyes, electric blue, bore into hers._

Those gentle yet piercing eyes…

_"You'll never leave me...right?" his smile widened._

_"Of course, not."_

They're all part of that dream.

_"You'll stay with me forever…won't you?" he tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ears._

_"Of course, I will," she smiled._

My **E** P **H** E **M** I **R **A **L **D **R** E **A** M...

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A/N: If anyone's confused, basically Lennie here has been getting his flirt on to get a certain tsundere-Rin's heart, much to the latter's annoyance. However, once he had, something happened to him that caused his death just when Rin had started to warm her heart up to him...Yeah, that "something" isn't quite cleared up in my head either so feel free to use your imaginations :3...It's my first fic so I'd love to know what you guys think~ ;3


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